We can all vividly remember how our mother used to do our hair. While we may or may not
We can all vividly remember how our mother used to do our hair. While we sat fidgeting between mother's legs, our hair was combed. This image always evokes memories, good or bad, when the memories are recalled there can always be laughter. The fact is that no one ever forgets this time. This is because this apparently harmless scene is very important for the formation of a child. It is a ritual that affects the relationship between mother and daughter and lays a foundation for a child's self-esteem and self-image. Actually you should say the relationship between parent and child. The story of a divorced father who only spent the summers with his daughter illustrates this.
The loving father proudly describes how he was able to build a close relationship with his daughter by teaching her to comb her hair. By considering this time as quality time, he won the trust of his daughter and father and daughter grew closer and closer almost unnoticed. To this day, father and daughter have a uniquely good relationship and from all the time they ever spent the her momoires are still fresh in my memory.
Unfortunately, nowadays we see younger girls with relaxed hair because the parents say they don't have the time or patience to do their girls' hair. The message this conveys to the child is clear: your hair is not beautiful, impossible and takes too much time. Because of the permanent damage that relaxers do, the girls' hair is usually also in bad shape, which also does not contribute to self-esteem and self-image. Because of all this, these children often experience frizzy hair as a "hebi*" and think they have bad hair.
The well-known scene of combing hair while feeling safe between mother's legs should therefore not be underestimated. This ritual not only determines the feeling that the child develops towards her own frizzy hair. During this ritual, beauty ideals and other subconscious signals are also unconsciously transmitted, which are important for the development of a child's self-image and self-esteem. I would therefore like to call on all parents of children with frizzy hair to break through the "bad hair syndrome" and to develop a positive frizzy hair feeling in their children. Don't think of combing your daughter's frizzy hair as a burden, see it as quality time in this increasingly busy and hectic life. If you dread it, the child will feel it and the child will also dread combing her hair. If you have fun with it, the child will automatically have fun with it. Take the time to comb the hair extensively with patience and love, it does not have to be every day, once a week or twice a week is enough. The result will be priceless: a closer relationship with a confident daughter.
* Hebi = burden
|The photos are from Hair in African hair and culture, published by The museum of African Art New York.